solo

They say that travel is good for the soul

I have to say, it is definitely good for mine lol.

Be it a night away just up the road, or an epic Northern Hemisphere adventure; they all feed my soul. I used to think I was a home body – but actually I just need a comfy space to land in, between adventures.

I do my best thinking behind the wheel of a car, and arguably some of my best writing in an airport, waiting to fly. There is something about moving and new scenery that sparks things for me and my muse.

The late great Anthony Bourdain is famous for His travels and his take on life. Both generally intertwined in his laconic style. The internet is littered with his quotes on food, travel and life…

“Travel changes you. As you move through this life and this world, you change things slightly, you leave your marks behind, however small. And in return, life – and travel – leave marks on you. The journey is part of the experience”.

“If I’m an advocate for anything its to move As far as you can, as much as you can. Across the ocean, or simply across the river. The extent to which you can walk in someone else’s shoes, or at least eat their food, it’s a plus for everybody. Open your mind, get off the couch and move”

I was, as were most of us, saddened by his death. And not just because, for a while, all I had was travelling, vicariously, through his tv shows. I would’ve loved to have travelled with him – not just for the places he visited but his habit of visiting the ordinary. Coming to grips with the essence of the places he went to; not just the highlights that most of us visit. Travel to learn about how others live, builds empathy and understanding. The world is so connected now, its is so easy to learn how others live, and what they hold sacred. There is so much richness in our diversity. So much we can add to our knowledge and our lives.

I’m sure he would’ve been much in favour of the trips I take with my mother, when we turn right or left, to “see what is at the end of the road”. We have discovered the mouths of rivers – unspoiled by habitation; a dam or two and in Australia a mob of kangaroos heading to the water spot at dusk. Don’t get me wrong, I was as enthralled as anyone by my first view of Tower Bridge, in London; or the Grand Canyon. But I have also relished my finds on less well-worn tracks.

As I write, I am seated next to the window on the ferry as I travel between Te Waipounamu (the South Island) and Te Ika-a-Maui (The North Island) as I head north for a family event, Normally I would be outside on the top deck, revelling in the sea air, wind, and the sights. But a girl has to eat and typing on a laptop somewhat problematic out there lol. But it’s a 3 hour plus trip; so I will eventually find my way up there.

I have become very fond of solo travel. For me it is the most luxurious thing I can do. Pleasing myself; tunes up loud; stopping where the whim takes me. A freedom I am truly grateful for. I am no longer self-conscious about eating alone in restaurants – even those that put me at the “solo traveller” tables. I love to people watch, so airports, train stations, ferries are prime locations for me. And even the “solo traveller” tables, have a collection of interesting people. Book readers, ph players or just stare off into spacers….

And I have developed a few strategies to keep myself safe. My kids are connected to a gps tracker on my ph. In a reverse of the norm, it’s so they can keep track of me, not the other way around. I always check in when I arrive and depart with friends and whanau; and I share my adventures on FB – so my extended whanau can keep up with where I am. I stay in hotels generally – the security they provide, balances out the extra cost. And if I’m walking around at night – I stay with the crowds. If I use public transport, I always choose to sit near couples or other women. I have food, water and a sleeping bag in my car – should I have to stop overnight on the side of the road.

But damn! Do I enjoy the freedom and the moving at my own pace. I am a walker of cities; and being able to do it at my own pace is so freeing. But I am a chameleon – so If I am with others, I can derive as much enjoyment at their pace too.

I love to explore the area around my accommodation as soon as I arrive. I ward off jet lag, by orientating myself to my surroundings. And usually finding the closest convenience store and food choices. I like to suss out my neighbourhood. Get my grounding. I don’t unpack. I’m definitely a Live out of my bag, kinda girl. But I do have a system, so I know where all my stuff is packed – except for that long weekend when I packed nothing but black clothing (A staple, here in Aotearoa lol) then I was forever pulling everything out trying to find something to wear.

I love learning the public transport system of where I am. We are too small a nation to have really good PT; so I absolutely loved the ease of the underground in London; or the travel app I downloaded in Vancouver that gave me the best bus routes. And of course, I love to walk. You see so much more, in much better detail, when you walk. Small signs on buildings that inform; or gargoyles, art installations and wee parks you may have missed. You stumble across areas where the residents inhabit, far from the tourist spots. Get a real feel for the place you visit, when you walk. But I also have a tendency to walk too far and finding my way back occasionally takes longer than anticipated. But when I’m doing it solo, that doesn’t matter at all.

I certainly do some research before I leave home, but some of my best finds have been stumble across things. Architecture, art, gardens and the best lunches. So satisfying..

It definitely scratches the itch I have to one day live alone. It gives me a taster for when I could do and feel if that day ever comes. But in the meantime it feeds my soul. Recharges me for the life I have now. My old Dr once said to me, that I needed “to find a life that I want; within the life I have to have”. Sage advice. I am blessed that I have the means and opportunity to do this. Tho, I am a cheap date. I don’t need first class, or fancy pants 5-star hotels. I am lucky I can sleep on planes, and as long as its clean, and safe, most accommodation suits. And I loved learning how to navigate the rail system in England earlier this year – maybe with a smaller suitcase next time lol.

One set of travel I don’t mind sharing is the roadies I do with my mum. Over the last decade or so, we have had the best adventures. Very similar in nature; we travel well together. No set timetable – our trip from Sydney to Canberra a few years ago took probably 4 times as long as it should’ve; but we stopped at will; found lunch; hugged the coast for as long as we could and found sights you normally miss.

We’re both reasonably early risers, so can be out on the road by 9 most of the time. Then the day is ours! Lunch is normally late – and whatever we can find that is still serving. (Though, she is of the generation who would’ve packed sandwiches and a thermos in days gone by). Home, late afternoon – me to play on my ph and her to review the 100s of photos she’s taken. We tend to eat in and then sit in companiable silence for the evening. We both need a balcony or outdoor seating space, for breakfast and our post day drink. We scarcely turn on a tv. It’s a privilege to spend this time with her. I am very aware that as she grows older there will come a time when these trips will no longer be a thing, but in the meantime we are building memories and a vast photo collection!  We have visited many points North and South In Aotearoa. With so many more to see…

Well my lunch is all but eaten. And the fresh air beckons me. The Marlborough Sounds call me.

Will post this once I hit dry land – and a better Wi-Fi lol. Tonight I land in the warm embrace of my brother’s house. One of my many “homes away from home”. And tomorrow I head slightly further North….

May all your travels fulfil and Travel safe 💜

Ko ia Kāhore e rapu, e kore e kitea

She who does not seek will not find