first

I am currently doing a 30 day writing challenge with a friend. while some of the pieces are quite personal. some are food for a blog… here is one of them…

My first love

A recent conversation with my BFF, abut the brief time we dated best friends when we were 16 has made me ponder. It was, after all a very long time ago. And I’m not sure he was my ‘first’ love, but he was one of my teenage loves.

My friend thought I got the better looking boy. I recalled he certainly had the better hair – long black and curly – this was my heavy metal era after all! Lol. He was taller than me and wore the uniform of the heavy metallers – jeans, black T with band of the day emblazoned on it. Possibly boots, but probably, being the early 80s in Hastings, it would’ve been generic sneakers. He was moody, tortured, full of teen boy wisdom, and I probably loved him.

The funny thing now, is I can only remember the hair and the angst. I had to work through the memory banks to remember his name…. But I could remember his sassy twin sisters name, no problem. And for the life of me, I cannot remember his face!

I don’t know we dated that long, maybe a year. I do remember taking him to my BFF’s brother’s 21^st, where her date – the other best friend, distinguished himself by getting drunk and throwing up. That was the end of their ‘sweet romance’; ours ended when my boyfriend decided he hadn’t got over the girlfriend he had prior to me. I should praise his honesty, but at the time, I think it severely dented my ego. I always thought she was less fun than me, but hey, I could’ve been wrong 😊

He wasn’t the love of my life. He was one in a line of boyfriends I had through my teens. No doubt replaced by someone else my mother didn’t approve of. She had certainly not enjoyed my Heavy Metal era – black fingernails, needing to wear black clothes everywhere, the home made chain earrings, or the wire I skilfully plaited through my hair – I was always fully committed to any ‘look’ I was trying out.

My love of Heavy Metal continued well after he left my thoughts. There are still a few songs woven through my playlists. And I do like a good rendition of Thunderstruck!

Teenage love is so real, and yet so fleeting. At the time, we cannot believe we will ever recover from the hurt of rejection. That we will never love again. And yet we do. And it would’ve seemed unthinkable, that in the midst of all that teenage heartache, that we would no longer remember their faces or names! But teenage love is part of our learning process. Those early affections and rejections teach us much of love, how we want to be treated, how we should treat others. And we do mend our broken hearts and try again. The optimism of the young, means that we always assume it will be better this time and that this will be The One. Once life knocks you around a bit, that optimism is dented, but in those years, anything is possible.

So possibly not my first love, and certainly not my last. But one of the lineup that taught me what I wanted in a partner, and how much I valued myself. (I was certainly way more fun than his previous 😂😂😂). For a brief moment in time, our paths crossed. And then like the pinballs we are, we rocketed off in opposite directions – just like most of our connections over time

I wonder if he ever thinks about me.

And whether he remembers my face or name?