letters

A friend of mine is celebrating a birthday this weekend. In lieu of presents she has asked us to write letters. How long we’ve known her; what we mean to each other; what we love about her and what we might find challenging. She will save them all in an album.

I’m all for it. I love a letter; both receiving and writing. In this world of instant communication I still like the process of choosing a card or paper; selecting the right pen; and putting down the words. I know the “news” will be out of date when it arrives; but that isn’t the point. It is tangible piece, a physical limk, from my hand to theirs, sent with Aroha.

I was brought up on letters to parents and grandparents who were away; thank you notes for presents; post cards when we were away. I still write to my mother reasonably regularly. She is not connected digitally to the rest of the world; so getting news by mail IS timely for her.

During the early pandemic days, I connected with my new online friends with cards and letters. Living, feeling very isolated, down here at the bottom of the world, those letters linked us. It gave us something to look forward to. A piece from another part of the world, when we were all so cut off from each other.

For my 40^th, I wrote notes to every person I invited to my celebrations. Thank yous for being important in my life. And that first Christmas in Recovery, I wrote letters to all the people I loved. A connection and a way of starting my road to healing.

In early recovery too, I bonded with a, now very good, friend, in England. We both received the same book – “Letter to my Younger Self”. A collection of letters from famous people to their sixteen year old selves. A writer too, Matt suggested we do our first blog challenge and write our own letters. We repeated the exercise a year later, this time writing to ourselves from the previous year. The year had been 2020. A Year of huge changes within the world, and within ourselves. Both letters were hard, thought provoking, but a basis for work still to come. I occasionally write a journal, which is like an ongoing letter, to the ether, to get thoughts out of my head, to record things that I have learned.

A letter written and sent is an act of love – well mine are. I know some letters are goodbyes; some are to set the record straight. Some to just vent. But mine, are generally sent to keep connections alive, to share parts of my life that aren’t instantaneous.

And isn’t it great to get something in the mail. That isn’t a bill. Or something that you’ve ordered. It is more than just words; it is an act that requires time…

So, I will write her a letter. I have it half drafted in my head. It is a friendship I treasure, we have had some adventures, some tears and so SO much laughter. I am honoured to record that for her. To give her that precious gift…

Waiho i te toipoto, kaua i te toiroa

Let us keep close together, not far apart