mind

Today is Sunday, “the day of rest”. A day I generally try to have as a couch day with time to polish the week’s blog. Last Sunday I was away with my daughter, doing touristy stuff in Christchurch and the blog I was writing had got stuck… so I thought I would use today’s day off to just write a new one lol. The muse is nothing if not particular about how and when she’ll arrive for me 😉. And today, as I am suffering from an over enthusiastic bout of weeding yesterday, I am well and truly couch bound – so I’ll have to see how I go 😉

This idea has been floating for a while, and it percolated a bit on the roadie home…  Then comments at 2 different meetings this week, all touched on it.. so here we are

“It’s all in your mind…”

Such an innocuous and common reply to any addiction or mental health issue.

And of course it is! They ARE diseases of the mind. Our minds. If not unwell, then we are certainly seemingly wired differently from other peoples – or so it feels.

“It’s all in your mind,” however, contains the implicit message that we are simply not trying hard enough to be better. Its that old theory that somehow people with addiction and MH issues are somehow lacking in moral fibre… But it’s been my experience that those who are suffering from these diseases are sometimes the strongest people I know. Only surpassed by those who have found recovery in what ever form that takes. To fight your mind on a daily basis, now that takes strength and courage!

One of the tools we learn is Mindfulness. That process where you meditate – or just live – taking notice of everything around you.

We check in with the 5 senses.

What can I see?

What can I taste?

What can I smell?

What can I hear?

And what can I feel?

The simplest form is meditating – just sitting or lying down and running these processes through your mind. It relaxes, recentres, brings down your blood pressure and refocuses your thoughts. Not easy to learn, the quietening of your mind, but invaluable for long term peace.

Because of course, its opposite is Mindlessness. And sometimes I think that addiction, in particular, but depression too, is all full of mindless actions. Repeated behaviours we use to try and fill the void. Drinking to excess, drug taking, gambling, mindless scrolling, shopping – even over exercising. All to numb the brain and distract those voices and calm the spiral of circular thinking…

We mindlessly snack – the Japanese have a word Kuchisabishii, which literally means the lonely mouth, that almost itchy feeling that we have that we try to assuage with salty snacks and candy.

When people drink alcoholically or take drugs addictively – they drink/use mindlessly. Mindful only about how to get their next drink or fix; of how to keep it all a secret. But the actions are mindless. Filling the emptiness with substances until you feel no more..  I heard the phrase recently – “mindful drinking”, I could hear addiction scream in every syllable. That need to calibrate and justify the action.

We see countless people at slot machines, mindlessly watching the colours, numbers and symbols spin past. Pushing the buttons to make it repeat and repeat and repeat.

I can spend hours mindlessly playing those games on my phone. “Bubble wrap for my brain” I call it. Instant rewards and being fed the possibility of more reward with every level.

The internet, now, provides us with endless opportunities to mindlessly scroll through endless loops of tik toks, reels, YouTubes. Do we need to watch people stacking their fridge? Re-fill their laundry products? Cat and dog videos? And the endless opportunities to shop! 1000s of websites with 10,000s of products. None of which we need. But the search for the perfect bag, shoe, dress, tool, food, gadget, trip…..  But, boy do they hit the dopamine!!

And so, in recovery, we practice Mindfulness. I do try the meditative version. When I am outdoors, especially by water, I do stop, breathe, see, smell, taste, hear and feel. I can calm the thoughts. Can re-centre myself…

But I’ve extended it to attempting Mindful Living.

Including Mindful Eating. Away from my phone, the tv, even away from a book. Eating out of a nice bowl, food I’ve taken time to prepare – temple food. I smell it; feel its temperature and texture. I taste each mouthful, feeling it in my mouth. I look at the colours, the different shapes… I slow down. I appreciate that I have the ability to cook good food. I am grateful I have the means and the time to prepare nutritious meals. I feed the soul as well as the body.

When I move, I can do it Mindfully. I feel the parts of my body that are working to move me. The muscles, the breathing, my heart. I feel the air pass by my skin. Sometimes I concentrate on my joints – I listen to how they are working. I take note if I am favouring one side or another – I know my bad knee makes the other leg work harder. I consider if I am wearing the right clothes and shoes. I am grateful that I am still pretty able bodied – despite recent health issues. And I am  SO grateful that I live somewhere that is close to all types of nature, where I am happiest – beaches, rivers, forests, gardens and mountains.

When I Mindfully rest, I can concentrate on being comfortable. Do I read, do I knit, do I lounge, or do I sit?  Can I feel the pain in my joints and sometimes my chest – it makes me quieten the guilty thoughts that I should be “doing” rather than resting. Do I make temple food? Do I let others cook for that day? Can I feel the stress leaving, my mind quietening? Can I feel the pain subsiding? Having to rest regularly is very new for me. I really struggle with justifying it. But I am learning. I am grateful that i have the ability to take rest days. That I am learning that self-care is vital. That acceptance of where I am now, is ok.

Sometimes being Mindful takes the form of pampering. Doing a hair treatment; doing a home mani or Pedi – or both. Soaking in a scented bath. Using that lush body lotion you were gifted. Taking time to understand that you are worth the special treatment. Feeling the lotions and potions make your hair and skin softer. Smelling the scents. Picking the colour of polish to suit the season. Snuggling on warm socks and comfy clothes when you’re done. Feeling relaxed, feeling special. Even feeling “Together” for a while. When I do these things, I find gratitude that I can take the time to do it. Grateful that I can value myself to do special things for myself.

Living in Mindfulness means that we slow down and practice self-care. It gives us a vital tool to get the most out of life. It makes us aware of how we spend our time and gives us the gift of Living in the Moment. It brings me that peace that I crave. I have learned to identify when I am living in mindlessness – and see why and then pull myself back. Being actively Mindful means that I am looking after myself – which in turn makes me better for others. Being calmer, means that I can react and handle issues that arise better. Being quieter means that I can plan better; be proactive rather than living life in constant reaction – which is exhausting. Living in mindfulness increases my self-esteem. It makes me more curious – seeking out places and experiences that I can practice mindfulness in. Finding practices that heal and feed my soul.

Living in Mindfulness makes Me better. But as with all these tools, it takes practice and an awareness of how important it is.

So yes. It is ALL in My Mind. But I can now choose whether it is Less, or Full. I know that to keep well I have to Live in Mindfulness.

Tōtika

Mahia i runga i te rangimārie

me te ngākau māhaki

With a peaceful mind and respectful heart, we will

Always get the best results