stones

If you know me, you know I collect stones from places I travel, and I take stones to leave in the places I travel to. I collect stones in places that remind me of people, and I have piles of stones from places that I left my heart. They are stored or displayed in jars I find while op-shopping.. And the kids know, that once I’m gone, they can just be returned to a river or beach…

Stones, like all of us, tell the history of where they came from. Each individual and unique. Each marked by how they came into being, and how they ended up appearing as they do now. Geological time etched into them!

I wear a very special stone around my neck. A Pounamu, a greenstone from Aotearoa, a taonga, treasure. So precious, you should not buy one for yourself but wait to be gifted one. It is said the right stone will find you. Once received, it should be blessed in the waters from where you are from. With wear it will grow deeper in colour, and many are passed down through the generations. They are carved different shapes meaning different things. I love mine and seldom take it off. I think I am up to my 7^th or 8^th leather cord..

So stones mean a lot to me… I love to find interesting ones, and carry an empty pringles can in the car, because it fits neatly into a cupholder and I can amass my stones…. Lol

But not all stones are created equally… on my recent trip, I was constantly getting small stones in my shoe. VERY annoying and difficult to remove when you are walking paths with no seats, or it’s too wet to sit down. So I would trudge on, grumbling inside, until I could release it to a better place… and of course, I frequently just left it there, slightly annoying, until the end of the day, when I could fling it out!

It made me think…  why do we let small things, that annoy, keep irritating us, instead of sorting it at the very first opportunity we can? We are contrary, are we not? We suffer uncomfortableness instead of fixing a small niggle as soon as we can. We leave the untidy drawer or ever growing pile of papers on the bench; or we don’t sort that health niggle; or we keep going to the place with bad service, because its convenient. All things that with a smidge of effort, we could sort and instantaneously we would feel better.

So why the procrastination? Why do we choose to be uncomfortable? Sometimes we just forget – until the next time. Sometimes we feel too tired, too worn out to sort it. Sometimes – and the need to pee in the night falls into this category – we think it will sort itself out without any input from us. (the peeing in the middle of the night, never sorts itself out lol)

It feels easier to use no energy to solve it. Rather than actually spending a bit of time fixing the issue.

Recovery is a bit like that. It isn’t always huge leaps of growth; not all change is momentous. Sometimes it is feeling a small niggle of discomfort or resentment and thinking we don’t need to fix it, it will sort itself.

Occasionally that might work. But generally not attending to the small niggles, will see us with bigger ones. Those resentments snowball and grow. They seem to feed themselves. That co-worker will keep doing the thing that annoys you; and weirdly, they don’t psychically know what you want them to do or be.

So, like taking that sharp stone out of the shoe as soon as you feel it; I should deal with the small annoyances when they happen, to prevent them escalating… Tell people, kindly, how they’re actions affect me – or even just practice acceptance, that the only behaviour I can change is mine.

I can see the thing that I resent about a person, and deal with why I find that resentment. Maybe its jealousy; maybe its old history; maybe its because I feel I have no control over a situation. Whatever it is; I can sit there and stew, limping along; or I can simply take off my shoe, toss out the stone, deal with the issue and move on pain free

It all sounds so obvious and easy, doesn’t it? And when I value my peace, I have to also tackle those things that disturb it.

Talk; meditate; give grace; accept; set boundaries. All the things I try to use for the BIG issues work just as well with the small ones.  I just need to realise that I am better at peace than not….

So after this trip, I have a new perspective AND a new pile of stones that will remind me of the beautiful places I have seen while on the road….

Tōtika 

Mahia i runga i te rangimārie me te ngākau māhaki

Balance

With a peaceful mind and a respectful heart,

will always get the best results