kete

“Kete” – A Kete is a Māori traditional woven basket. Mainly woven from Harakeke, flax. It can be a simple design or intricate, depending on its purpose. Hardy and beautiful, they may be used for the mundane, or for more important work.  Kete can carry your groceries, or your precious Taonga, treasure.  A Kete Aronui, is a symbolic Kete that specifically relates to the Basket of Knowledge.

I have recently added a “Car Kete” to my car for my travels. Not of a traditional design, but it serves a purpose. I found it in my travels around the op-shops, made out of recycled plastic, instead of the traditional flax, it is not the usual shape, but it’s design suits my needs. It sits on the seat next to me, and holds my wallet, my camera my drink bottle, and possibly, well probably lol, snacks. If it’s cold it holds my beanie and gloves… and if needed, any meds I may be on. It means I can toss all those small things into it, that I need when I travel, and at my stop for the night, I carry it into my room, and in the morning I just pop it back in the car. Because I stop so much to take photos, having my camera safe next to me, hidden from view, if I am out of the car, has been revolutionary. I have found it serves its purpose very well indeed…

I have other Kete around the house, a couple that are decorative, and most are functional. Balls of wool; buttons (of course), precious taonga, or just bits and pieces. I love the functionality and the Form. Interesting shapes, colours and textures….

On my recent trip I was thinking about how we fill our Emotional Kete. That all important self-care. And self-worth. Our lives seem set to empty our Kete of Wellbeing. Work, illness, financial stress, the demands of other people, all seem hell bent on emptying our Kete. Draining our positivity. Sometimes I feel like there are crumbs in my Kete, not enough to sustain.

So why is it important to keep our Well Being Kete full? There is an analogy in recovery that, like on those service announcements on planes, it is important to put on your oxygen mask first, before you put on anyone else’s – we all function better on O2, rather than risk our long term health by tending to others first. It was a very hard lesson to learn in early recovery. The people pleaser in me, always put everyone else’s needs first… effectively running with a permanently empty Kete. Self-care is not selfish. Self-care is NOT selfish. It is becoming the best, healthiest, most useful version of yourself…

So how do we fill our Kete? I think there are many strands for this. Obviously it includes all the physical health things – healthy eating, good sleep and activity. If we are as physically well as we can be, the rest all becomes easier. I’m not talking about a strict diet or exercise regime – unless that’s what rows your boat. But living as healthy as life as you can. We all know how to eat nourishing food, how to move ourselves to get the best out of life. How to develop good sleep habits. The basics of health really. It means seeking medical health early in a disease or complaint. Fixing the small things so they don’t grow too unmanageable. It means mindful eating. Taking time to nourish, instead of just fuelling our bodies. It means moving as much as we are able, as often as we can. It means getting outside to breathe. It means being gentle with ourselves,

Working out what drains our Kete and plugging the holes, is also important. Working our what is happening in my life that takes away rather than adds, is a recent, big one for me. Be it people or situations. I have started assessing if it is worth the cost. Some people drain and refil my Kete at the same time. Swings and roundabouts, give and take. Sometimes more of one, sometimes more of the other, but maintaining an equilibrium. My Kete is flexible. With these people I know that there is space for them. Because I get as much as I give…

But some people and situations are just sponges for my energy. Not a 2 way transaction at all. So I decide, is it worth the cost? Do I need to keep having this situation in my life? Boundaries, and choices, some very hard ones, keep my Kete working for me. This decision is based soundly in the “self-care/self-worth” camp. As I grow to value myself, the next logical step is to move away from the people and situations that don’t value me… (very easy to say; extraordinarily hard to do)..

And lastly I just fill my Kete with things that being me Joy! Being creative, hanging out with people I love; experiencing things that make me smile. And for me, that usually means hanging out with the tall trees and large amounts of water lol. My knitting sparks so many things for my Kete – creativity, gifting, learning new techniques, a shared interest with others. As I knit for the baby charity or for friends and whanua, it really adds to my Kete in so many wonderful ways…

My recent hobby of painting has added a new strand to my Kete. The whole process of choosing what to paint, to mixing the colours, to applying “artistic licence” to my work… to the tiny, tiny final strokes on the work. It satisfies my continuing need to Learn something new. I have found a new way to meditate. It has become my morning habit to paint for an hour, while the house is quiet. It has started really setting me up for the day. I feel like I am more rested, more at peace these days.

My writing, both here, and in my various notebooks. Writing has always helped me sort out the things that bother me. writing pros and cons lists; writing letters for the conversations I cannot have. Writing out some of the thoughts that swirl around my head. Writing lists to organise my life; writing out poems and passages that have inspired, writing cards and letters to people far way – a tangible link…. I love words, always have. Words are one of my love languages. Sharing them, or just putting them on paper fills my Kete…

Kai, food. Feeding people, not the daily “What are we having for dinner?”, that drains my Kete lol. But the occasional feast or meal, where I gather people around and we share Kai, and company. People around my table definitely adds to my Kete.

Travel. Lol you all know how I love to travel!! It doesn’t have to be first class; I am actually quite low maintenance. Recently stayed somewhere that rated itself as 2 star. I thought they were harsh on themselves, not flash, but comfy, warm, clean. What more do I need? I so want to see as much of Aotearoa, New Zealand and the world as I can! See it, experience it, learn about it taste it, and take pictures (and now paint it lol). my muse likes to travel too. I’m always more writing productive when I travel…

But the simplest thing I can do, to fill My Kete is to go outside. Our summer was pretty average to begin with, but late summer and early autumn, were sublime. So going out every day, to eat my lunch in the garden, looking at the flowers and vegetables that have given me such joy this year, just filled my Kete. And this last trip I took, with mum, which took me to parts of Te Waipounamu, South Island of Aotearoa, NZ that I haven’t been to before; literally left me speechless. SUCH beauty, so many unexpected sights, filled my Kete to overflowing. I counted my blessings every day. Was too busy to doomscroll social media (is there a quicker way to drain your Kete???). We just seized each day and went with whatever we found. The weather gods, were, if not kind – there was rain; they certainly knew which points to turn it on for us. All the people we encountered were kind and generous. And all the accommodation booked, on a whim, gave us what we needed in each spot.

But the scenery? The scenery that was the true gift. I am so SO blessed to live here, where so much of what we hold sacred is both accessible and relatively untouched. Not McMansions or Mega Hotel complexes, just quiet paths and discrete signs… tourism is a double edged word, we want people to come, but it can’t be at the price of ruining what they come to see..

My soul and Kete were filled…

The challenge of course, is to balance the Kete day to day. We can’t all be doing the extraordinary every day. I have to learn to fill my Kete with the simple, the everyday stuff. Some of that relies on attitude. I can look at my life and see the humdrum of laundry, meal prep and caring, and just feel my life source drain; or I can find the joy that is there every day. A snuggle with the pooch, a new recipe. Even finding a new tv show, to share with friends. A book; a new thing to paint. A spot of decluttering – knowing that that task gets me one step closer to my dream of a smaller house. Balancing the chores with moments that feed my soul, that keeps my Kete balanced…

So, how will you fill your Kete today? What will you do or choose to balance out the thigs that empty it?

And just know, that you, taking the time to read this, adds to keep my Kete ticking over….

Ahakoa he iti Kete,

he iti nā te aroha 

Although the basket is small,

it holds great love