leaking

They say that tears are the ‘sadness leaking from your body’… sometimes it is all too hard to keep it all in, and your emotions leak out

If I am trying to hold it all together and I get overwhelmed, my emotions can leak out in ways I had not intended… I lose my temper with someone who was just, unluckily, the last person around to annoy… Sometimes, I send a pithy response on social media because I’m having a bad day and mouthing off at a stranger gives me some kind or stress relief…

All understandable and potentially all ok. Until it isn’t

Wouldn’t it be better to manage the stresses of life, and the demands of grief in a healthier way? Pre-empt the “leakage” by doing things to destress, to express out feelings in a timely manner?

Of course it would. And in a perfect world we all would.

But we are not perfect, we are all flawed.

So we must learn these tools. And then practice them

Identify situations we know are going to be triggers and prepare ourselves.

Give ourselves, and others Grace.. that defuses most situations before they erupt

It is all another reason for Self care. Just like getting in supplies if a storm is predicted, getting ourselves mentally well will give us all the best chance of managing any storms that arrive… unexpected, or not.

If I know I’m heading into a busy time, when my stress levels will be raised, I can always prep myself and my life to reduce the other stresses. Prepping frozen dinners; getting enough sleep; putting off things that can be postponed. Tidying up my surroundings – there is something very tiring and ‘naggy’ about having clutter around.

Going to all my meetings; doing some things that feed my soul, topping up my resilience

And prepping my time for afterwards – not over committing, so I can relax and unwind – instead of lurching from one event to another (this last thing, I’m having to learn. I do like to overcommit lol)

Lowering my expectations of myself and others. In a previous life, I was an events coordinator, I was good at it; but I always took on too much, and was always aggravated when others did not put in the effort I expected. Setting us all up for a certain amount of failure. It has taken me a long time to lower my expectations and by default, everyone else’s. I have come to understand, people will not remember the matching serviettes or that quirky, but perfect decoration. They will remember the laughter and the feelings they came away with. Learning the KISS principle – finally (Keep It Simple Stupid)

This year my events – things I cannot not go to, all appear to have clustered. Not poor planning, just life. So I have, and will be rushing from one thing to the next. Not ideal, but it is what it is.

So planning is paramount. I have frozen dinners; I have streamlined my packing. I have smaller knitting kits to travel with. I have booked ‘couch time’ for when I return. I make sure that in my down time, I do things that bring me peace…

All this prep; all this mindfulness, keeps my emotions from Leaking out. I stay on an even keel, if I prep; thenI save those around me, from the effects of my stress

It is a new way of living for this chick who used to zoom from one thing to another, without taking time to breathe in between. I cancel things now. Not trying to squeeze absolutely everything in. not Having to go to everything that arrives..

I recognise my limitations. I respect that others prefer the unstressed “leak proof” Me.

Am I perfect? Nope! Lol. But as with all these things, I am a work in progress…

This week there was a weird anniversary for me. It could’ve derailed me. I chose instead to sit with the feelings. Taking the day to remember with love, the good bits. I took the time to feel and to Be. And nobody wore any leaking emotions from me.

All humans feel. All those emotions are valid. Joy, happiness, love, sadness, anger, bitterness…. We feel all these things – it is what makes us human.

How and when we express them, now that, that is what makes us enlightened – or not. My emotions are my responsibility. Nobody else’s. I owe it to the people I love – and the randos on the internet – to manage them and myself, as well as I can..

When I feel myself losing my temper – unnecessarily; I have to check myself. Recalibrate. Pause. And apologise…

These days, the only emotions that I want to be leaking are Joy and Peace…. Those, those I want to leak around to everyone…

“Ko au te waiora o aku whakaaro”

“I am the wellbeing of my thoughts”