paragraphs

As I stroll through Soc Med I often come across that quote about how some people are just chapters in our books, while others are there for the whole book… I quite like the analogy, except of course, pedant that I am, lol, there are very, very few people there for the whole book, most just for a paragraph or 2… I think we are more an anthology of short stories. Even the themes change as we travel through life, from childhood, through the ages, we may be the main character, but the plot and supporting characters are ever changing..

Some of the short stories have plot twists, others are predictable. But the characters, the ever changing cast of characters, are what make the stories spark…

There have been people with me for most of my book so far, some for even decades. But most of the people who have travelled with me have been there for just a page or 2; or even just a sentence. Some days, I am touched by the kindness of strangers. A comment, a compliment, someone who made me smile. Are they worth a mention? Of course. Because they may have changed the course of my day or even my week… Some, of course, make an impression for a different reason.. that rude driver who stole my park, that snipe from a stranger on the internet. Some sentences are well worth forgetting lol

I like to have long term people in my life. I make close bonds. I love well and deeply. I love the comfort of a long term friendship; the ease, even when life isn’t particularly easy. One of my children hated breaking in a new pair of shoes, and as I get older, I’m not really keen on breaking in a new friend … but recent years have shown me, new friends are still out there for me. finding a common ground early, makes the breaking in period shorter…

And not every friend will be in every story. Not every person I know can be in all the paragraphs. There are some bits of my story I have to write by myself. Some paragraphs that only I can form, alone, as I learn and develop. And some paragraphs may only include 1 friend and may not be within the comfort zone of another. And that’s ok. Lives follow their own path, sometimes they lie together, criss crossing, parallel; and sometimes they veered in different directions. This doesn’t mean the friendship is lost; it just means, for a while, we are not as adjacent as we were. We will fall back in step soon…

…Or not. There are people I thought would always be in my story. There is grief in letting people go, who simply aren’t there anymore, for whatever reason. Geography; time; different life goals; a different ethos. I’m always surprised when I realise people have moved, permanently… I used to beat myself up – what did I do? What did I say? But now I know, it is just Life. I hope they remember me for the parts I played in their stories with kindness and a smile…

My story has been full of Interesting Characters. I am drawn to the Different. The artists, the storytellers, the eclectic. The poets and the midnight ramblers.. I love to hear their stories, and sometimes, live vicariously through their exploits… I love colour! In clothing, nature and the people I choose to have in my life… and as I move to a ‘more mature’ age, I tend to gravitate to the peers, who are like me.. the colourful and the not wearers of sensible shoes 😉. Because, like finding our tribe; the characters we choose for a paragraph, or a short story, or even a novel in our books, are a reflection of who we are, and what we hold as important.

I have never been one to judge people on their eclectic appearance. In fact, if anything, if you present “properly’ I am more likely to not make the effort to see what lies within… give me the coloured hair, the earrings the tights and combat boots.. now you, you will have a story to tell… We are all more than the face we present to others. We are more than what we wear, how we appear.

And like a well thumbed book; one that we’ve read and re-read, there is joy to be found in remembering the people we had in our paragraphs and chapters. They all touched us, made us who we are today. When our stories overlapped, they were occasionally written in tandem…

So I hope that I am not just a sentence in other people’s stories. Maybe I am that paragraph that you look back on. Maybe I am even a chapter!!

Because once we are gone, all that will remain is the mentions we have in others’ stories. We live on in their memories and their tales…  I hope to make sure that those mentions, are upbeat and colourful; that the verses I left were kind, were generous, were Fun…

E hoa ma, ina te ora o te tangata

My friends, this is the essence of life