touchstone

In days gone by a Touchstone was used to determine if a metal was precious or not. A stone, free of cracks, hard and dark  – was kept, and whatever soft metal you wanted to test was rubbed across its surface. The residue left would determine the purity of the gold or silver or other precious metal. They compared the line to know standards of purity, the colour left would confirm the purity of the metal. In days when gold was often mixed with copper, or other metals, this test quickly established its intrinsic value…

I like to collect stones.. I don’t altogether know why, but I am drawn to their timelessness; their weight and all the colours and shapes they come in…  I have written about my stone habit before (https://chrissiestable.com/2026/04/24/stones/). But there is always another layer to stones for me… And of course my most precious stone is my Pounamu; my small piece of greenstone that ties me to this land…

I use Touchstones around me to keep me balanced. Some are places; some are habits; and of course some are people..

I went to the beach today, not one I go to often. It used to be very quiet, but it was a sunny Winter’s afternoon, so there were plenty of cars and people – well plenty for my neck of the woods. I’m sure overseas people would remark at its emptiness lol. it is a pebble beach with a natural bank the separates the sea, from a tidal lake. The walking is hard – those pebbles do like to move and not give you a firm foothold lol. but it was peaceful and it was serene…

My biggest Touchstone, the thing that I use to test my thoughts, is The Outdoors, especially around water. It feeds my soul and clears my mind… I use it to centre me, when I am out of whack..

I use my People Touchstones to clarify my thoughts. I have a close group who act as a barometer of sorts for me. People I know I can go to, who will be honest with me, answer my queries, run the stream of thoughts I’m having across their “Touchstones” and let me know how I’m doing. I appreciate this gift that they willingly give me.

It has been a tough couple of weeks, tbh. Some things I had not anticipated have been sprung on me. I have not reacted well. I have been ‘out of sorts’ and I’m afraid to say, have reacted ‘out of character. I ran this particular scenario, past a favourite Touchstone, one who’s opinion I value highly, and they said “based on what information you’ve given me, I don’t think you are over-reacting”. Good news, but of course beneath that sentence lies the thought – did I share honestly, all the details, or did I frame it as I wanted it to seem? I think, it was a fair assessment. I think I was honest…

When I shared the same scenario with another set of Touchstones, I heard back “this is a loss, and you’re the one who reminds us all losses carry some type of grief”…

And there it was, the surge of emotion I had drowned in, was Grief, once more tangling me. There has been so much to process over the last few years, I have lost some good people – many of whom were my Touchstones; there has been a loss of health and there have been some changes that I have no control over. I like to think I am managing all of that well; and most of the time I am. But last week, the thing that came out of left field, floored me. and that’s ok. Grief is a tough instructor. I forgot for a while that anger was one of its effects. I just need to give myself time, and re-center once more..

I am grateful that I have these Touchstones around me, that I can reach out to. That I can analyse my thoughts and reactions with. People I trust. People who I know have my back. People who see me for who I am.  People who don’t tell me what I want to hear but challenge me with what I need to hear.

This year feels taxing. Yet another year of growth, and change and all the unrest out in the world. But this year feels different. Maybe it is a big year for growth, or just one of consolidation. Who knows. But I am just riding it; seeing where I am being led, and who I am becoming. This isn’t where I thought I would be; but it does feel like it is where I am meant to be. With the people around me that I need to have around.

My cast of characters is changing a little. Their lives are moving in different directions to mine. And that’s ok too. Having handed over control of my life to the Universe; I am trusting that all this change is going to be ok. I have to expect that my Touchstones will change a little too. I am grateful for those that have carried me thus far. And know that there may be new ones around the corner.

And I will always remember the healing to be found on a windswept beach, amongst the pretty stones, with the smell of salt in the air…

Ahakoa he iti, he pounamu

Although it is small, it is a treasure